Board Thread:Watercooler 2.0/@comment-6191693-20140207025103/@comment-24518402-20140323231831

It all honesty, my brain had convinced me that I had given an actual reply as to who I was. Seeing as how that in fact didn't occur, my brain and I wll have to have a little sit-down later on this evening.

Well, where to start, I'm your average looking (think Greek god, stone chiseled jawline, and stone sculpted body) 23 year old male. Currently, I'm in my fourth year of college studying Business Administration, that's after taking some slight detours down Psychology Boulevard, History Lane, Archaeology Avenue, and that back alley downtown behind the bars where everyone pukes, deals drugs, and makes poor decisions with strangers they just met that they're going to regret in the morning. The state (yes, I live in the USA, but don't all of you also? All of you do right? Does the rest of the world even have internet?) I live in is consistently red (except financially, our budget is blacker than our oil boom), just like the blood Jesus spilled for all of your sins. State law mandates that stores can't open til noon on Sundays, not that it matters, because church service doesn't get over until noon anyway, and up in God's country, we're all there every Sunday. Yes, I live in North Dakota, the only place where you don't have to look up to see the sky. One of the six people in the state. Except on the weekends where the other red object lining our landscape, yes, I do mean that Red Bullseye of Target, which is consistently overrun by Canadians every. Single. Weekend. Let me tell you, I've been to Canada many times, and they're the nicest people ever in Canada, but when they get to America they get all American and assholey. They forget how to drive (Do they have blinkers in Canada?), and holy shit do they know how to destroy a retail store and not pick up their mess.

Politically, my ideology is that of most of my elderly neighbors that populate, well everything here, and that is that Obama is the antichrist and Muslim, Mitt Romney has a nice American family, and as far as Democrats go, well I guess that Heidi Heitkamp isn't so bad. I only voted Libertarian by mistake last election, not because I actually thought both Obama and Romney were lousy choices. Oh, and just to clarify, that money I donated to the LBGT organization during Pride Week last summer was only because I thought it was a cover charge to get into the bar where I could drink some American beer, not because I was supporting my numerous friends in the LBGT community, because Jesus and stuff.

That being said, my tastes in movies, books, and TV shows is awesome. I don't even need to list anything because they're all awesome and all of you will just have to believe me.

My childhood was pretty average. In fourth grade I started growing corn in the garden (I say garden in the North Dakota term, because fields are miles long here), and selling it in the fall for money. I did that until I got a job welding for a local ironworks company when I was 16, as well as bouncing around a few of your typical high school jobs such as working for a concert venue setting up stages, ball rooms, and meeting rooms in a town 45 minutes away, officiating hockey games, and unfortunately cooking pizzas. I played baseball during the summer, and hockey during the winter, even had some interest from some division 3 colleges, meaning I was only slightly not horrible. Also, I started playing guitar in sixth grade, and was even in a band that did a small tour at one point. My first car was a 1997 Pontiac Bonneville, she was as white as North Dakotan Scandanavian ancestry skin, and built like a praire women - i.e. wide and low to the ground. I loved her anyway, because on the inside, well let's just say it was like being back inside a Mother's womb. I could have snuggled those fabric seats for ages, not to mention that bench they called a backseat.

All that aside, I currently work in a bookstore, survived the winter where the windchill was literally colder than -60 degrees F at one point, and consistently -50 degrees F for a solid week-two weeks before we hit -20 and everyone celebrated for one day, then it got cold again (class, of course, wasn't cancelled at all during this time period and my parking lot is blocks away from my classrooms). For real, my phone just said fuck it one time and shut off and didn't turn back on until I let it charge for 30 minutes when I got home. Did I mention I got accepted into the University of Arizona and didn't go?

Oh, and I can touch my nose with my tongue.